I feel like it's not fair. I have to go through all this and still feel insecure about texting you. And all you do is just receive all the love that I give. And then I realise, that i'm being unfair to you. For thinking that way when you have been worrying about me, not being able to contact me when you wanted to. You did not ask for any of this or for a hard relationship. It's so hard for me to swallow this situation I am in. The fact that my family take this a tad bit too hard and too much. I don't think this is a difficult situation at all. But they make it seem like it's the worst ever. I don't want this to occupy them and make it a problem. I just want everyone to be happy with each other. And I wanna spend time with both my family and you. I feel so happy around all of you. It's because of me being more sociable now, they cannot take that fact. They're not used to it. And now they make bad assumptions about you and me. I'm sorry to both of you, for having to deal with difficult things with me being the middle person.

I love you too much to let you go. But I cant handle this feeling anymore longer. I cant take it. Theres too much hatred in your heart. Why cant you just let it go? Just enjoy having us while you can? I have to go through every single day swallowing this thought and your cold shoulder. I know things will get better. I just cant wait for that day to come. I'm sorry that my posts have been about problems and whinnings.

I love you.